Monday, February 7, 2011

blow. OUT.

aah, the never ending joys of parenthood...

as the whole entire world knows, most of the country was frozen in last week.  the roads were awful and there was NO way i was going to venture out in that mess, so i was locked in the house for 4 1/2 days.  talk about cabin fever!

on saturday once fort worth began to thaw out, bryce went to work and he told me when he got back that we'd get cleaned up and he'd take me out for dinner.  so, we got ready, fed the baby with the intent of her sleeping through the whole meal and headed out.  we should've known things wouldn't go as smoothly as we'd hoped...

we headed down into town and she was totally passed out.  "aaah, we're going to get lucky on this one," we thought.  yeah right.  as we walked into the restaurant, b woke up.  now bryce is totally paranoid about being "those people with a baby" in ANY public place, so i went ahead and made a bottle so we were prepared.  we ordered a bottle of wine and decided on what we were going to eat and she started to squirm and talk a little bit, but i didn't really think anything of it.  the louder she got, i decided to go ahead and give her a bottle to try and get her back to sleep.  she didn't want anything to do with it.  after a few grunts and screams, i went ahead and got her out of her car seat right as our food was arriving at our table...

as i pulled her out, i realized her right pant leg was wet.  my first thought was i spilt something on her, but then i realized that i was dry.  great.  she's peed herself.  awesome.  as i realized how wet her pants were, i figured i better take her to the bathroom to put on a new diaper.  so i left my new found favorite bottle of wine and napoli style pizza to take the little chunk to clean up her situation...no changing table.  awesome.  so, i pull out my changing pad and put it on the chair that's in the bathroom.  i laid her down and pulled her pants off.  much to my dismay, no pee...all poop.  everywhere.  it had come out the right side of her diaper, from her belly button to her ankle.  all over her clothes.  and now, all over the changing pad.  awesome. 

usually i always pack a clean outfit, but i knew she had just eaten and we were going to the restaurant and straight home, so i figured we'd be okay.  well, i learned my lesson on that one.  so, i grabbed some wipes and just started to get to work.  no dice.  at this point, the only thing that's going to fix this problem is a bath...or a hose...or a 12 cycle car wash.  i tried to rinse her off in the sink in the bathroom, but something was wrong with their water heater and the water was cold.  double awesome. 

i finally decided to just give up, get her as clean as i could and get her back in her car seat so we could somewhat salvage any part of our dinner.  when i got back to the table,  i informed my better half the blow out i had endured in the bathroom.  immediately, he asks for the ticket and starts reminding me how imperative it is we get out of there asap.  he let her sit on his lap so i could shovel down some food, paid and high tailed it out of there.  we headed straight to the car that would soon be filled with a lovely aroma of "baby."  yuck. 

when we got home, we went straight to her room and took off her crap covered clothes.  apparently the lighting in the bathroom was a lot worse than i thought because she was still covered in it.  yuck, yuck, YUCK.  we headed to the tub and that's when i noticed it...i was the second thompson girl covered in poop.  awesome. 

what a lovely little experience to remind us that we really ARE parents...

2 comments:

  1. The very thing happened to me with Kevin except we were at church. We had arrived late and the only place to sit was up front on the 3rd aisle right in the middle. I never forgot that and you won't either!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh gee...I can't wait for this... {sarcasm}

    ReplyDelete

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